What Would They Say
by mermaid2bseeker
Summary: What would they various characters fom the Harry Potter novels say if they saw or heard about various things happening.
1. HarryHermione

"What Would They Say"

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by mermaid2bseeker and liz marie A.K.A. meteora

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Disclaimer: Darn, I don't own anything of the Harry Potter novels. Although I wish I did.

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A/N:  
When I first posted this fic I realized I accidentally posted a different fan-fic (Loser) under this name, so now that it's fixed enjoy the correct fan-fic titled 'What Would They Say'.

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**The Harry-Hermione Scenario**  
  
The Scene: Harry and Hermione making out, (in my imagination I have them kissing a lot, but you can imagine them however you want.)  
  
What would they (various characters from the Harry Potter novels) say if they saw them (Harry and Hermione.)

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Ron- "You two should get married. No wait, i don't want to give you any ideas, you might just do it."  
  
Draco-(disgusted look on his face) "You're your father's son, Potter, falling for a mudblood."  
  
Snape-"1000 pointsfrom Gryffindor."  
  
Lavender-"Oooh, oooh. Just like what Professor Trelawney said would happen."  
  
Neville-"Uh, Hermione. I need help on my homework."  
  
Seamus-"This is a worse shock than my explosions."  
  
Dean-"Red card! Red card!"  
  
McGonagall-"I would have never expected this kind of behavior from you, Miss Granger."  
  
Trelawney-"As I forsaw, you two are making out, althoug to be honest I expected it much sooner."  
  
Mr. Weasley-"Oh, is that how muggles do it."  
  
Sirius-"I was wrong your less like your father than I thought."  
  
Remus-"It didn't happen to Lily and James until after they had graduated from Hogwarts."  
  
Colin Creevey-(clicking his camera) "Oh, Harry, could you hold that position. Whoa, where'd that come from!"  
  
Dennis Creevey-(telling his friends) "Oh, ooh, ooh, you'll never believe what I just saw..."

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A/N:  
So there you go. Please review. Oh and if you want me to post other scenes in the 'What Would They Say' story, just let me know in your reviews. 


	2. McGonagallSnape

"What Would They Say"  
  
by mermaid2bseeker  
  
A/N:  
  
I'm probably gonna be burned at the stake for ever thinking of this scenario. I have a perverse and disgusting imagination. Anyone who wishes to keep their lunch in their stomach, brace yourself.  
  
Chapter 2: The McGonagall-Snape Scenario  
  
The Scene:  
  
McGonagall and Snape making out.(ewwwwwwwwwwwww.:)I know. Don't blame me, though, a friend of mine dared me to do this scenario.)  
  
What would they (various characters from the Harry Potter novels) say if they saw them (McGonagall and Snape.)  
  
Harry- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Hermione- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Ron- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Draco- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Crabbe- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Goyle- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Lavender- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Parvati- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Justin- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Neville- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Seamus- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Dean- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Trelawney- As I forsaw, you two are making out, althoug to be honest I expected it much sooner.Oh and EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Sirius- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Remus- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Colin Creevey-(clicking his camera)EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Dennis Creevey-(telling his friends)EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Everyone I've forgotten to mention- EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
A/N:  
  
So there you go. I know, I know, I am have a very sick mind. Please review. 


	3. Hermione Stripping

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"What Would They Say"

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by mermaid2bseeker

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Disclaimer: Don't own them, wish i did though.

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Chapter 3:  
  
The Scene: Hermione stripping in a strip club.

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Harry- (he looks as if he's been petrified with mouth hanging open)  
  
Ron- (his face goes redder than a tomamto)  
  
Draco-(lovestruck look on his face) "You're kinda hot for a mudblood."  
  
Snape-"1000 points from Gryffindor."  
  
Lavender-"Oooh, oooh. Just like what Professor Trelawney said would happen."  
  
Seamus-"Whoa."  
  
Dean-"Red card! Red card! Oh, bloody hell."  
  
McGonagall-"I would have never expected this kind of behavior from you, Miss Granger."  
  
Trelawney-"As I forsaw, you are persuing an alternative employment opportunity."  
  
Colin Creevey-(clicking his camera) "Oh, Hermione. Work it, work it."  
  
Dennis Creevey-(telling his friends) "Oh, ooh, ooh, you'll never believe what I just saw..."  
  
Luna Lovegood- "This is just like the behavior of a Blugerbud. Or maybe she's been possessed by a HufflelumpinWoozle. Either way this would make a great cover story for my dad's magazine."  
  
Hermione's parents- "Hermione Ann Granger get you booty-shaking ass down here and explain yourself."  
  
A/N:

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So there you go, it's kind of kinky i know. Please review. Oh and if your want to read any kind of specific scene tell me about it in your reviews. 


	4. Dudley's No Muggle

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What Would They Say  
**by mermaid2bseeker

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Chapter 4: Dudley's No Muggle

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A/N1:  
To the person who suggested that I do a scene with Dumbledore and Ginny: (you know who you are) You are a sick and twisted individual. v I like your style.  
Disclaimer:  
I do not own Harry Potter. That honor goes to the almighty J. K. Rowling.

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The Scene: _Dudley discovers he has magial abilities_  
  
What would they (various characters from the Harry Potter novels) say if they found out that Dudley was no Muggle.

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Dudley Dursley – "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Vernon Dursley – "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNNOOO!!! I WON'T HAVE ANOTHER ONE IN MY HOUSE."  
Petunia Dursley – "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNNOOO!!! NOT MY LITTLE DUDDYKINS. WWWWHHHHYYYY?"  
Piers Polkiss – "No, way. You're…you're like _him_ now, aren't you. Oh, my god. Get away from me FREAK!!"  
  
A conversation between Minerva and Albus:  
Minerva McGonagall (after examining the magical quill, which is used to create the yearly student roster at Hogwarts) – "There doesn't appear to be anything wrong with it. But why did it not record this name when the person was born."  
Albus Dumbledore – "How old is the person, now?"  
Minerva – "Over sixteen. If he was admitted, he wouldn't graduate until he was at least twenty-three."  
Albus – "Who is this boy?"  
Minerva – "Dudley…Dursley!!"  
Albus – "Ah yes. If I am not mistaken, he's Harry's cousin."  
Minerva - Just shakes her head in disbelief and exasperation (to herself) _that horrible boy who was demanding more sweets from his mother, ah crap._  
  
A conversation Harry, Ron, and Hermione would have at school:  
Harry – "Hey guys. Guess what?"  
Ron – "Luna Lovegood's in love with you."  
Both Harry and Hermione look at Ron.  
Ron – _"Whhhaaat?"_  
Harry – "No, that's not it. Where do you come up with this stuff? No, you know what? Never mind, I don't want to know. My cousin Dudley—the one I set the snake on at the zoo—is a wizard.  
Hermione – "How do you know this?"  
Harry – "My aunt and uncle sent me a letter blaming me. And they sent it by owl post, which they would never ever do normally, so they must really be mad."  
Hermione – "But why would they blame you?"  
Harry – "They say that my presence in their home must have triggered a reaction in Dudley."  
Ron – Laughs very hard  
Hermione – "It's not funny."  
Ron – "Yes, it is."  
Harry – "Of course my aunt and uncle won't let him come to the school."  
Hermione – "I doubt they'd have a choice."  
Harry and Ron at the same time – "What do you mean?"  
Hermione – Rolls her eyes "Harry, did it work when they tried to prevent you from coming?"  
Harry – "No."  
Ron – "But he wouldn't be allowed to be admitted. He's waaaayyy too old. Besides how would they even know that he's a wizard if he wasn't born magical?"  
Hermione – "That doesn't matter. Honestly, don't you two—"  
Harry and Ron together – "—read? Yes."  
Hermione – "Yeah, right. In the headmistress's office there is a magical quill which is enchanted to write the names of every magical child born in Hogwarts' jurisdiction. Those names are what Professor McGonagall read aloud each year at the Sorting. Undoubtedly, once Dudley's magical abilities manifested themselves, the quill wrote his name down. The only issue that would arise is what would happen if a sixteen year old boy was enrolled as a first-year."  
Harry – "Oh, right"  
Ron – "This could be fun."  
Harry – "Yeah."  
Hermione – Rolls her eyes

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A/N2:  
Please review, and if you have any specific scene you'd like to see me write about, tell me about it in your reviews.   
  
A/N3:  
For all those Harry Potter fans out there, I have started a group on called 'Going Nuts Over Harry Potter', me and my b/f (liz marie A.K.A meteora) are the moderators. So, if any of you would like to join our group send an e-mail to either or saying you'd like to join, and include your own e-mail address, that way we can send an invitation to you. 


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